It is easy to trust within your parameters, when the demands are not high. When the demands increase, your equilibrium is toppled. You sit back and reflect, and there are two decisions you can make, to increase your trust or relinquish trying. This trial phase is not easy- do I or do I not? What if? Such questions dominate your thoughts and references to the past are pulled out, weighing options and outcomes. But these trials don’t eventually birth out trust because trust is wild and free. It is not ‘as a result of’, it is a ‘just because’.
There is a certain man, whose demand for trust seems utterly impractical and unrealistic, almost impossible. In the beginning, it is easy to trust Him. He didn’t require much. In fact, He comes through while needed, he heals the sick and demon-possessed, makes the blind to see, feeds multitudes, and turns water into wine. Heck, He even raises the dead. Trust? Of course I trust Him. What’s there not to trust? You think you don’t have a reason not to trust, but you have seen nothing yet.
As you continue to follow and watch Him, you see the stakes increase. Some of His remarks throw you off balance. To one of the men who just lost his father and is about to bury him, He says, ‘Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead.’ Bit insensitive you think, still you continue to trust Him, but in reality, you have no idea what trust means just yet. This is the same man who once said to a large crowd, ‘If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters- yes, even his own life- he cannot be my disciple’. This same man crosses paths with a rich young man, and you watch Him tell him, ‘If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me’. Bit unstable today, you think, but you still follow Him anyway.
You still follow Him as a teacher and prophet but trust is merely a five letter word and you are yet to fully use it. Then one day He asks teachers of the law, ‘what do you think about the Christ?’ This question is odd because everyone knows He comes from the lineage of the famous King David, and when the teachers of the law respond, ‘The Son of David,’ He throws them off balance by asking, ‘How is it then that David speaking by the Spirit calls him ‘Lord’? If then David calls him ‘Lord’ how can he be his son?’ No one can answer and neither can you, and you don’t think much about it. Shortly after, He proclaims statements such as, ‘I am the way the truth and the life. No one comes to Father except through me’ and ‘I and the Father are one.’ He is a bit extreme, you think. Those around even think He is blasphemous, but you still trust. Or so you think.
As you watch Him over the years, His statements to others are now directed to you. ‘Whoever loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.’ You don’t dwell much on it because lately, He has been talking about dying and rising again. Must be some type of pre-death syndrome. Sure enough, the man you have known and followed for three years dies. Three days after His death, you hear reports about His resurrection but you think it is utter nonsense. Now, you try to trust, but it is hard to.
Then you see Him. You are startled and before you can say much, He says, ‘This is what is written: The Christ will suffer and rise from the dead on the third day, and repentance and forgiveness of sins will be preached in his name to all nations’. Before you can reconcile what you are seeing, He makes one last demand, ‘Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation.’ You are taken aback, Should I trust that this man has indeed risen from the dead. Clearly He has, I see Him, but will those who didn’t see Him like I did believe me when I tell them that He is the risen Christ? That God once dwelt among us? You now have two options; to let loose the wild untamed trust or relinquish it altogether.