Sometimes I don’t feel Christian enough. Although I have been born again for over a decade, like Paul, sometimes I feel like ‘the least of the apostles’ (in my case Christian). This feeling has always been at the back of my mind until it resurfaced when God spoke to me (He truly knows our thoughts). Yesterday, I was busy reading and out of nowhere, God clearly spoke to me and said, ‘Not Christian enough?’ And before I could respond, ‘Say what God?’ The Lord told me to write down reasons why I feel I am not Christian enough. It was too late before I knew that God was excavating my unspoken thoughts. Although I would rather perform an exorcism than write this down, I had to obey my Father, and after enough whimpers, I set to write.
- I usually laugh at uncalled for times- Lord you otta make me more serious
- I love sarcasm and wit more than anything else- only for laughs though Lord
- I almost never start a greeting with a ‘Praise the Lord’ or end every sentence with a ‘God is good’- But I usually say ‘Amen’ Lord, at least?
- I am not gifted in affixing spiritual terms in every sentence I make during my conversations- it is only later Lord that I think how such and such verse would have been suitable for that occasion
- I actually cringe when someone overuses ‘Church vocabulary’ in a normal conversation- usually I don’t know how to respond Lord
- I usually only go to Church on Sundays, I do not spend each day of the week in ‘your house’
- I mostly immediately leave Church after service is over
- I prefer to worship You mostly in my house or in the quietness of a prayer room
- Some Bible study groups make me want to fly off the window and never return-Lord, I hate it when the moving of the Spirit is restrained to a ‘fill in the blanks’ type of thing
After I finished listing these down God said, ‘It seems to me you are human enough’ but then I responded, ‘But I have to be Christian.’ I was confused. ‘You have to be human to be Christian,’ He said. I thought about this and after a while spoke, ‘But you know I love you Lord more than anything else, right?’ He responded, ‘Yes,’ and added, ‘I the Lord examine your motives. Quit focusing on the flesh, how is your spiritual condition like?’ With this, the Lord recalled numerous relevant Scriptures to my mind.
Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting ~ Psalm 139:23-24
For the LORD does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart ~ 1 Samuel 16:7
Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ ~ Colossians 2:8
Do not worry about what to say or how to say it ~ Matthew 10:19
If anyone loudly blesses their neighbour early in the morning, it will be taken as a curse ~ Proverbs 27:14
But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father who is unseen ~ Matthew 6:6
To obey is better than sacrifice ~ 1 Samuel 15:22
There is a time for everything and a season for all activity ~ Ecclesiastes 3:1
Do not be overrighteous neither be overwise- why destroy yourself? Do not be overwicked, and do not be a fool- why die before your time? ~ Ecclesiastes 7:16
Let your moderation be known unto all men ~ Philippians 4:5
It is only now that I realize that God viewed my notion of not being ‘Christian enough’ in a satirical way, as if laughing, hence He asked, ‘Not Christian enough?’. Because one is either Christian or not, there is no middle ground. Christianity is not based on feelings or human rudiments, but on a simple fact, following Jesus Christ and keeping His Word- because Christ is enough.
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